What is your choice?

[pika]

I need some advice.

A girl that i was so crazy about 1 year ago, which i did something wrong by chasing after her so badly when she was attached back then and was rejected. I took almost 6 months to get back to normal and now i am beginning to be able to adapt into just being friends with her. I was very inexperience in relationships and immature back then....and i just keep motivating myself to go after her and try to win her with my efforts.. despite knowing the fact that she has a strong relationship and what i am doing is wrong.

Now that i took a step back and look at what i did in the past, i discover she aint really so perfect as what i thought. I was basically acting on impulse.. she gave me a chance to care for her and i overdo it...and i just pretend she is enjoying much of it.....

My question now is....lets say if she is single now...and she show interest to carry out a relationship with me.....should i give this relationship a chance by considering?

Its soo hurtful from my last experience that my mind is inscribed with a warning when i meet girls.....and i got to admit that no matter how i managed to convince myself that im already ok....im still covered by the shadow of this.. even now if she ask me out, i will bring a common friend along.....andi will try to avoid topics on relationship etc....

Im confused

[**Sapphire**]

I don't know if pursuing her if she is single now would be a good idea. You 2 are friends & it just might put a crimp in your friendship if you pursued her romantically.

Has she shown you any kind of interest other than being a friend? Do you think she likes you/has feelings for you stronger than just being your friend?

[pika]

I don't know if pursuing her if she is single now would be a good idea. You 2 are friends & it just might put a crimp in your friendship if you pursued her romantically.

Has she shown you any kind of interest other than being a friend? Do you think she likes you/has feelings for you stronger than just being your friend?

Sapphire i dare not ask...or do i dare to even think and mis interpret it again....she is one girl that crushes my confidence....

in the past...i rilly thought i held a chance but i was wrong...this round, i prefer to think it as friends....

once bitten twice shy...i don even dare to harbour the thoughts that i can start chasing her again.....

i think i should just remain as it is for now...the problem if...i am assuming it now...that if she explicitly mention that she is giving me a chance.....should i try this relationship?

[**Sapphire**]

Pika, if she is giving you clear signs that she is interested in you as more than a friend or if she tells you her feelings about you, then for sure go for it hun.


Do you feel that she is giving you those signs to have a talk with her about your feelings? If you do, then I would suggest talking to her BEFORE you start to pursue her again. Let her know how you feel, that way she can tell you how she feels whether she has feelings for you as a friend or more. That is very important to talk, because I think if you start pursuing her based on some feelings you get from her she may back off if she isn't interested & could quite possibly think you are doing the same you did to her before when she wasn't available to you.

[pika]

Pika, if she is giving you clear signs that she is interested in you as more than a friend or if she tells you her feelings about you, then for sure go for it hun.


Do you feel that she is giving you those signs to have a talk with her about your feelings? If you do, then I would suggest talking to her BEFORE you start to pursue her again. Let her know how you feel, that way she can tell you how she feels whether she has feelings for you as a friend or more. That is very important to talk, because I think if you start pursuing her based on some feelings you get from her she may back off if she isn't interested & could quite possibly think you are doing the same you did to her before when she wasn't available to you.


thanks sapphire....i think for the moment, maybe i will wait till the signs is really clear.....i don want to think too much into it at the moment as well...

[**Sapphire**]

That may be the best Pika, you don't want to possibly scare her off & also ruin the friendship you 2 have at this moment.

Good luck though & come on back to keep us posted. :)

[pika]

That may be the best Pika, you don't want to possibly scare her off & also ruin the friendship you 2 have at this moment.

Good luck though & come on back to keep us posted. :)

i just met up with her last friday..it was a solo date which she didnt want to include our common friends....it was her birthday as well and i was suppose to celebrate with her. We had dinner and shopping for her brithday present.

Throughout the conversation we had, i somehow elt that she wanted to tell me something but i did not probe any. She asked me to trips etc as if she was alone...but somehow i didnt want to commit as well...i try to face her like a common friend. yes she might be single but she might be also just looking for a friend to keep her companya nd thats all...... unless she explicitly tell me...if not i will not try to get any hint and wild guessing throughout.

[**Sapphire**]

Sounds like a good idea Pika. If she does feel something more than a friend for you then she will let you know.

In the meantime, enjoy the friendship you do have with her, good friends are hard to find. :)

[pika]

she told me she was single again this morning.....

wat shld i do? im damn confuse...shld i go after her???

sapphire, i think i make a wrong choice the last time.....i chase her while she is attached and now she is single...i do not ahve the courage to go after her.....

what went wrong??? i don even dare to face her now....i try as much to avoid her..supposingly i was going to go zoo w her last sun....but i gave an excuse that i was busy....

the reason which i believe why i am doing this was that i took a rather difficult time to pick myself up during that period of rejection.......and i don dare to experience it again.....
questions like what if i attempt again but i fail??? i cant imagine what will become of me.

[Tony]

with saying to you that she is single again might be an opening for you but I would recommend just asking her the next time when you talk to her if there is a chance for the two of you to become more than friends.
If she does say yes will you have your answer
If she does say no then you will know not to go any further

she may not want to go with anyone just yet as she is now single

[pika]

with saying to you that she is single again might be an opening for you but I would recommend just asking her the next time when you talk to her if there is a chance for the two of you to become more than friends.
If she does say yes will you have your answer
If she does say no then you will know not to go any further

she may not want to go with anyone just yet as she is now single

Hi tony, i think i need time to cool down and think through my position as well.....like if i am still really into her..and this relationship as well.....i think i might be acting on impulse again.....

[Tony]

thinking thighs through is always a good thing
but if you do decide to to go after this girl again you might be back to square one as she may have someone else if you do wait to long that is why i have suggested have a chat with her to see if there is any chance if you both do get together and it does not feel right for either of you then you may both agree to go your separate ways

cooling down is easy but i think that you do need to talk with her other wise you may always wonder in your mind about the ( what if,s )

[devilwoman]

I agree with Tony Pica, have a talk with her, it could be that her telling you she's single was her way of letting you know that she could be interested in more than friendship, the only way you'll know for sure and set your mind at rest is if you ask her though. Just saying nothing and avoiding her is just putting yourself through more stress. If you leave it too long she might just think you're not interested anymore and meet someone else. Good luck

[**Sapphire**]

I agree with both Tony & devilwoman Pika. I think the best way is to approach her & ask her how she may be feeling towards you. I think as well that her saying she is single now to you is a good indication that she could very well be interested in you. You will never know if you don't at least make the effort of having a talk with her about it though.

So I say go for it, have a talk with her. :thumb::)

Of course if/when you do, come on back & let us know how it went...we love details! :D