beyyeb
10-14-2006, 04:07 PM
First, thanks for this forum for advice.
My partner and I have been together for 8 year. Recently, we've spent more time apart due to the nature of our professions (we're actors). Over the past 3 years, I've been the one who has traveled. Maybe for 2 - 3 months at a time. We always try and see eachother at times during the months away. We always talk before bed. For the most part, everything's remained balanced and open.
This past Aug. it was my partners 1st time being away. It was for a show he's always wanted to do, and thus, we was excited to be going. As a result, this was my 1st time be the one "at home."
He has always been so supportive of my time away and I was excited for him that this time the roles would be reversed.
As the weeks passed, I really sensed that he was having fun with the cast. Going out and just enjoying his time away. It was hard not feeling like he was maybe have too much fun? My first inclination was to remind myself not to feel left behind. That my feelings were simply because I was now at the other end of the phoneline (so to speak). It was ok for him to enjoy himself.
His contract is ending this week, which means it's time to come home. Our recent conversations have centered around the concept of "happiness." He says he didn't realize how unhappy a person he was until feeling so happy these last 8 weeks being away and doing what he loves to do - perform. I don't think of it as unrealistic, or odd; however I asked, "are you unhappy with being in this relationship." He said that because our relationship is such a big part of his life, it would be wrong of him to say no - but he did not want to say his unhappiness was a reflection of our relationship either.
Ok, so what to do? I don't want to push him. There are so many wonderful aspects to our relationship, yet I'm not naive enough to say it's perfect. I want to repect his feelings that a great time in his life as now passed. Being in the field, I know how hard it is for a show to end; especially if you love the show and the cast. With this said, we have a life together separate of our profession and it's not something I think either of us are wanting to end. But a seed of doubt has been planted. How should I preceed? Thank you for your time. Beyyeb
My partner and I have been together for 8 year. Recently, we've spent more time apart due to the nature of our professions (we're actors). Over the past 3 years, I've been the one who has traveled. Maybe for 2 - 3 months at a time. We always try and see eachother at times during the months away. We always talk before bed. For the most part, everything's remained balanced and open.
This past Aug. it was my partners 1st time being away. It was for a show he's always wanted to do, and thus, we was excited to be going. As a result, this was my 1st time be the one "at home."
He has always been so supportive of my time away and I was excited for him that this time the roles would be reversed.
As the weeks passed, I really sensed that he was having fun with the cast. Going out and just enjoying his time away. It was hard not feeling like he was maybe have too much fun? My first inclination was to remind myself not to feel left behind. That my feelings were simply because I was now at the other end of the phoneline (so to speak). It was ok for him to enjoy himself.
His contract is ending this week, which means it's time to come home. Our recent conversations have centered around the concept of "happiness." He says he didn't realize how unhappy a person he was until feeling so happy these last 8 weeks being away and doing what he loves to do - perform. I don't think of it as unrealistic, or odd; however I asked, "are you unhappy with being in this relationship." He said that because our relationship is such a big part of his life, it would be wrong of him to say no - but he did not want to say his unhappiness was a reflection of our relationship either.
Ok, so what to do? I don't want to push him. There are so many wonderful aspects to our relationship, yet I'm not naive enough to say it's perfect. I want to repect his feelings that a great time in his life as now passed. Being in the field, I know how hard it is for a show to end; especially if you love the show and the cast. With this said, we have a life together separate of our profession and it's not something I think either of us are wanting to end. But a seed of doubt has been planted. How should I preceed? Thank you for your time. Beyyeb