confused?

[hEaRtAcHe~WiTh~A~kIsS]

Hey my and my b/f just had a baby about 2 months ago. But our problem is all we do is fight then ask if we wanna break up. lately we barely talk and yesterday he brought up the past slammed the door out and when he came out he asked if I wanted to go to my mom's 4 a while. Then later he said forget about what I said earlier. Is it time for a break?

[Lewski711]

Hey,

This sounds like a heck of a hard time for the two of you. Whenever you bring a baby into a relationship, it really changes things... a lot! (as you probably have learned). But, it also brings in a new kind of connection, not just a passion and the excitement that comes with being a couple. Having a baby brings in feelins of family, and responsibility and a connection that goes deeper.

Sometimes these feelings can be scary, especially if you see your old relationship is gone. It sounds lie either one or both of you are put off by this change in your relationship.

I wouldn't say you should break up. I say that, because, no matter if you break up or not, you will be connected together forever because you both share this precious baby. Instead of throwing in the towel, try to work on the relationship. Sit down at some point when the baby is asleep, when neither of you are upset at the other, and, like the adults that you are, discuss where you want the relationship to go.

Try not to attack each other. Don't get defensive. Listen and speak your mind. If you both want to stay a family and be together, work on it. there are books, churches, counselors, websites, you name it, that can help couples who want to get past tough times.

If you decide this is not right for the two of you, break it off sooner than later, so that the baby won't ralize that there's a change. Right now, you wouldn't affect Baby's expectations by breaking up, because baby's have none, but in a few months, your child will be used to whatever your offering it. So, decide now if this is going to be healthy for all three of you, or not. Then, act on it.

I wish you all the best of luck.

[lovely]

No,I don't think so.Little misunderstandings may occur in relationship.This does not mean that it is a time for a break.Before breakup you should think about your baby .

[aqua]

These things always happen even with much mature couple. As guys feel that the new baby is taking all your attention. So take time to talk to him and adjust your time between baby and him. Motivate him to help you with baby, women have to take small pains to deal with guys. (I’m just practically speaking)

[like2play]

I dont think it is time to break up, having a baby changes a lot of things, not only do you start feeling more stressed because you have more than yourself to worry about, there is more to do and couples often get caught up in everything and forget to take time to love each other.

[emdar]

It may not be time to break up just yet, but i do think you might want to try some couples counseling. Having a new baby is hard and time consuming and often the couple, even in the most commited situation, finds themselves less able to focus on one another. Balance is difficult to achieve with a newborn in the mix.

[lovelovelove]

I agree that it's not time to breakup, but if that was me I would try couples counselling. Having a baby places a difficult strain on any relationship. On top of the strain, if your baby doesn't sleep, everything seems 20 times worse than it is. I think it's really hard for many men to have their spouse/gf focus on them and their needs and then shift that focus to the baby. You both obviously love each other, but are probably pretty stressed out, especially if this is your first child. Talk to him and suggest counselling, or try to work it out on your own. If you can't make decisions based on the life you want for your child, and not for yourself.