over him hurting me over and over again

[babylove621]

well my ex and i were in a 2 year long distance relationship, we broke up bcos things got to be way to hard to handle, this was in july, it took sometime but i was finally getting over him and moving on, we were still good friends so it was good. Well i was going on vacation to visit my cousin not far from were he was, so we decided that me, my cousin and her bf would drive there and spend a weekend there and just to hang out, we were all pretty excited, it was planned for the first week of september. Well we knew this by the end of july, well august came along and me and him started getting closer, although i was seeing someone that i liked a lot (still dating him now), i decided i didn't want anything official, bcos if something did happen while i was visiting my ex i would never forgive myself. Everyday it seemed like me and my got closer and closer, i was loving it, he decided to have an open-end relationship, which honestly was working, we never faught it was great, i was falling for him again and so was he. We decided while i was there we'd act like a normal couple, it sounded great to me, it felt so good to be loved by him in that way again, i missed him so much. Well plans fell through and i wasn't able to go see him, we were upset but decided we'd figure something out for him to come here since i'd be starting school, we also decided to just go back to regular friends until then. That last for like 2 weeks, I finally had my best friend back. Well about 2 weeks ago he screwed me over again and we've hardly have talked since then. It hurts so much it feels like breaking up all over again, i knew i shouldn't have let myself fall and get so close again but it felt really good and i melted when he told me how much he loved me and wanted me. Well hes replaced me again i was always there for him and anytime he can find someone else he cuts me off, he did it when we first broke up too and then came crawling back when she dumbed him. I do love the new guy im dating and i want to be with him, but i want my ex back in my life not that i want him back but i want my best friend that promised he'd be there for me no matter what back. Any advice i know its long but i needed to vent about it all. PLEASE HELP!!

Thxs!!

[**Sapphire**]

WELCOME to ATLF!! I'm glad that you joined us & decided to post! :)

Honestly, I think that you should let your ex go totally. I think that if you continue on as friends you will only get hurt time & again. I understand that you want him as your friend & since you 2 did well being friends you think you can do it again. The thing is here, what if he wants to get back together yet again & winds up doing the same thing he did to you now? Your only going to go back to square 1 & hurt again.

Maybe take this time that you haven't talked to him & think about if you really should/do want him back as your friend. Don't contact him for a while longer & see how you feel not talking to him.

[daisychip]

babylove.............you said that the two of you had decided just to remain friends but I don't think your heart was truly believing that's what it was going to be. Otherwise you wouldn't be upset that he has "replaced" you.

You need to get honest with yourself and your friend (IMO). And vice versa. You want him all for yourself but if you're going to be with s/o else too, then you can't be selfish.

I wish you luck in deciding what's best for you.

[babylove621]

i haven't talked to him and honestly really don't plan on it for awhile. I do love him and a part of me always will, he was there when noone else was and visa versa. I know my heart hasn't completely let go of him and im not sure if it will, its just hard bcos i know he feels the same. In my heart i know that in the end if we truely are meant to be together then we will, but for now im not stressing on it. I guess the part about being "replaced" was because i have a guy in my life that i love and i still have room for him, i guess i just want the same in return, if that makes sense.

[daisychip]

Admit it babylove...............if your ex would come back and you could be together all the time...............you would dump the guy you're with now. Now honestly, how can you say that you love him?...........unless you mean in the really good friend way but isn't that leading him on?

Are you a person that doesn't like to be alone? Nothing wrong with that but you really should reconcile feelings for one before involving another. It's like your just keeping this one around until you find out for sure what the ex wants to do. You should be making that decision for you.........not him.

I know that what I'm saying is sounding harsh and I really don't mean it that way. I know how confusing these things can feel. Babylove, you need to take a look at what you're doing and make certain that you are not hurting or potentially hurting someone else unnecessarily.

[babylove621]

honestly i don't know if i would go back to my ex, i love him and all but i can't do it anymore with him. This is just how i feel right now, im only 19 i dont wats going to happen a few years from now. All i know is the guy im with now loves me and i love him sure im not in love with him, yet anyways, but he makes me happy.