What Do You Make Of This Girl

[TreeofSephri]

Well as most stories go there is this girl that I liked a long time ago. Well I approached her and she gave me a chance but I had no real experience with women and made a fool of myself. She humored me until I go really annoying and she basically tried to shoo me away. She went so far as to cross the street when she saw me coming. Anyway, Fast forward 2 yrs later. I am a Senior in college and I am doing pretty well for myself. Suddenly, I notice that she is interested in me again and she makes some pretty bold advances for instance she stand over me smiling as I wash my clothes. However, I ignore her because I was scared of her due to past experiences. Any way this persist for about a year. Essentially, she has stopped with her bold advances and sends me more subtle hints of interest. i.e lots of eye contact and smiling at me from afar. Even when she had a boyfriend she did this. Now I am not the kind of person who would aggrandize himself because of a few signs of attraction but the longevity of this boggles me especially since I have shown a lack of interest. I am hoping for some alternate opinions on this issue.

[stilldreaming]

How did you make a fool of yourself? Was it that bad?

[stoner]

Well it seems too late to do anything about it now my friend. Relationships can be viewed like a job or occupation. We all start being shy and quiet, and to a certain degree getting "red-faced" in the process due to our lack of experience. However, the more we engage in it, the more confident we get, thus leading to more opportunities for further advancement. Basically it becomes an on-going learning experience for both parties. If the last relationship failed, then we toss away the things that did not work. On the next relationship, we remember the things that worked from the previous one, and then apply it while simultaneously learning something new and so on. Do you notice that prior to marriage, the individuals involved may have had multiple partners in the past? Being with just one person the first time around and staying with him/her on a long-term basis - while it exists - is very rare.

Love and relationships is all about taking chances, and giving the person the shadow of a doubt (even if we're not interested at that time). We find out what works and what doesn't work; whether the chemistry between the two is a positive or negative one; and working out differences while simultaneously making demands and/or compromises along the way. In the end, if it turns out to be something great, then that's awesome. Otherwise, we move on; start over with a clean slate; and the whole cycle starts over again.

If I were you, I would simply shrug off what took place two years prior, and then move on (which you already did). But fast forwarding two years later, where she suddenly started to show interest, I would've just taken advantage of the situation. Even if I don't have the interest in her as I did in the past, I would still give her the shadow of a doubt. Perhaps, it just may be something that could turn up to be good and find out sooner if those feelings still exist or not; are they strong feelings or not; will she be the bride I'd been dreaming about or not; etc. If it didn't work out the second time around, I'd shrug it off like the last time, take it as a learning experience and then move on. However, as I had previously mentioned that it seems to be too late for that now that she has a boyfriend. At this point, I'd just ignore her and keep my distance out of respect. However, when she becomes available once again and still has interest in me, then I would allow her to be closer to me and not spoil the opportunity while it's served to me on a silver platter.

Anyway, it's just my .02 cents about the situation ... hope you find it helpful in some form or another. Good luck.

[FlistyA]

One would like to think that people can change, but the fact that she's doing this even with her BF smacks of game-playing. I was and still am quite vunerable to this sort of thing. It can make someone QUITE cynical.

[daisychip]

wow........some women just think they are something don't they! with you flisy...........game player. a chickensh*# one at that. if she was interested why not just come out and say it instead of throwing herself around like that. people like that just aren't worth an effort.