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View Full Version : I screwed up :(


DarkPrince
08-02-2007, 07:36 PM
Now, this has nothing to do with the other thread I posted about, as that was a different situation; but now I just want to know what you guys think about this. I apologize if this is a bit long and I commend you for taking interest and your thoughts. :) Anyway,

I've been working at a library as a shelver for the past 5 years just earning and saving some money while I finish up school to possibly transfer to continue on. When I started I had gotten to know this one girl who was already working there. Over time we started to become great friends. When I started I was always a little quiet and I didn't talk much to anyone unless it had to do with work related stuff. As I got to talking to her more often, I started having conversations with her that weren't related to work stuff and we had something in common....etc. This is where work became interesting and I would always make jokes with her...etc. After a couple of years she moved up in the job and started working as a library assistant at the main desk. We still continued to talk and had breaks/lunch together every now and then depending on if the work schedule permitted it and if the lunch/break weren't already scheduled by the boss.

Now fast forward a couple years later to present/last year and this is where things went rocky. A couple of co-workers had started to think that I may like her as more then just a friend at work, which was true, but I never said anything. They started talking to her about it. I had originally wanted to play this carefully. But, when they told me about the conversation they had with her and they said she liked me as well, my head went spinning. I didn't know how I wanted to proceed. They kept asking me over the next couple of weeks if I had asked her out yet and I kept telling them no and was putting it off because I didn't want to do something stupid and something I'll regret. I really wanted to talk to her about everything and what she felt about the situation. Well, that never happened. So, one night at work while she was on her break my feet couldn't stop and I went and asked her. Thinking back on it now it seemed like she hesitated to say yes for a quick second, but she did. Being all excited that I took that for what it was, and never had the brains to sit down with her and talk about how things should go and how she felt, and well now I regret that.

She was working another job at the time and couldn't find a free day to get together. It was a few weeks before she finally had an open day that we could go out after she quit the other job. That day comes for us to go out and we had work together before hand, as I'm taking my lunch she comes in and tells me that she doesn't want to go out and that I'm not her type, and I shakingly said ok and that was the end of it. I never did have a straight conversation with her about how I felt and how she felt and how things should work before hand.

Again sorry for the length, but I felt that if I didn't explain what happened you might not know how to comment. Now, I still like her and we talk and get along fine as if none of that ever happened. I've gotten over that day. But, like I said I still like her, and some part of me keeps telling me that I should at least talk to her about what happened and how I wanted to tell her my feelings and how I didn't want to just flat out ask her without talking about it. So, now I ask for your advice. Should I still talk to her or just blow everything off all together and just continue to be friends with her? This has been bothering me for the past couple of months since she told me she didn't want to go out.

**Sapphire**
08-02-2007, 07:44 PM
If you feel that you should have a talk with her, then for sure talk to her about what happened & how you feel etc.. Maybe she will see things differently & want to go out again.

Penguin_Woman
08-02-2007, 07:44 PM
Well...I do feel like you deserve some sort of better explanation. Maybe just try to cautiously bring it up. Tell her no pressure that you just wondered

~Teej~
08-02-2007, 07:51 PM
Yeah you never know, things may have changed...You should speak to her about how you feel..Even if it's bad at least you will have closure.

Good luck to you

Riggs
08-02-2007, 08:12 PM
Well...I do feel like you deserve some sort of better explanation. Maybe just try to cautiously bring it up. Tell her no pressure that you just wondered


I agree with you, wolf.

DarkPrince
08-02-2007, 09:43 PM
Thanks for the replies...

The only thing I'm worried about is how I want to bring it up. I mean, I don't want to bring it up as something that came out of no where. I don't want to catch her off guard or something.

Riggs
08-02-2007, 09:55 PM
Never a good way to bring it up, but talking things out is always best, no matter what the outcome will be. Good luck !

DarkPrince
08-08-2007, 12:55 AM
Wow, this is really tearing me up inside. One part of me says yes go for it and talk to her. Another part says don't and just let it go, she doesn't like you like that, you'll only be hurting yourself. I'm going crazy. :eek:

daisychip
08-08-2007, 01:09 AM
Obviously you still feel a lil weird in her presence but my suggestion would be just to let it go completely. She told you that she didn't have the type of feelings she assumed you had albeit at the last minute but still........before you went out and that was the right thing for her to do. Just stay in the friend zone and if a time comes you think she may be stepping out of it with you then make your move. For now though I'm sorry to say I think your better off not saying anything.

DarkPrince
08-08-2007, 02:21 AM
You know, I think that may be best; considering its already been long after what happened and I think bringing it up again would probably cause a bit of awkwardness. As much as I would like to say/do something, I think like you said I should just stay away for now, and not worry about it unless something happens from her.

~Teej~
08-08-2007, 11:01 AM
I think I agree with DaisyChip here..You can be a good friend to her and you never know...some of the best relationships blossom from being good friends first.

**Sapphire**
08-08-2007, 12:31 PM
I'm in agreement here as well with the posters before me. Be her friend, take more time to get to know one another, who knows maybe things will change down the road.